Cereal Killer Cafe, Brick Lane, London

“How about a bowl of choco-potomus?” asks the young guy behind the counter (surprisingly clean shaven, no bushy hipster beard).

“erm, what’s that?” I ask, taking a closer look at the menu that I pretended I was reading earlier.

“…it’s a cocktail of cereal with Coco Pops, Krave, Kinder Happy Hippo and chocolate milk.”

“Yeh I’ll go with that, it’s got to be more interesting than just a bowl of Coco Pops…”

Perhaps one of the first times that I wouldn’t “rather have a bowl of Coco Pops” for my choice of cereal, although the situation is not all that usual.

“I wouldn’t “rather have a bowl of Coco Pops”

It’s around 6pm on a Sunday evening on east London’s Brick Lane and we’ve decided to see what all the contrasting interest, outrage, supportive and snide remarks surrounding the Cereal Killer Cafe are all about.

Firstly, a confession. I’m not a huge fan of cereal for breakfast, let alone at other times during the day. We used to eat them for breakfast growing up but these days you’d be lucky to even catch me eating a slice of toast in the morning. So it does feel unusual for a non cereal eating person to be contemplating a bowl for an evening snack but apparently quite a lot of people do.

Crowdfunded Cafe?

It’s quite easy to be cynical about the cafe. After all the concept originated from a indiegogo campaign that didn’t come anywhere close to hitting its original goal of £60,000 set by identical twin brothers Alan and Gary Keery, they raised only £1,015.

Perhaps the target was misguided or was it just simply that the real aim was to gather a huge amount of PR from some major news outlets? Either way, the brothers have pushed ahead and ploughed £20,000 of their own money into the venture creating a place that intrigues people, makes people stop, stare and even queue to get in.

Channel 4 isn’t a fan

It was only a few days ago when Channel 4 News added some fuel to the Cereal Cafe’s PR fire with a bizare line of interviewing around the morality of selling bowls of cereal in a poor area of London for £3.20. I wonder if the reporter ever wandered through the hordes of tourists and food/graffiti tour groups that descend on Brick Lane most days of the week? Whether he had he missed the vintage tea house just down the road serving tea from flowery designed pots with £3 slices of home made cake? Or the chocolatier next door (Dark Sugars) with its huge slabs of luxury chocolate and cocoa dusted truffles on display in the window.

“Channel 4 News added some fuel to the Cereal Cafe’s PR fire”

Perhaps he had arrived straight at the cafe door by black cab?

Gary Keery hit back at the reporter in an online “open letter of complaint” on Facebook where he stated that Channel 4 were “making a mockery out of me”.

What’s in the box? Inside the Cereal Cafe

After such a build up, such a media storm, it’s easy to be a little underwhelmed once you’ve poked your head inside the Cereal Killer Cafe. The ground floor is quite a small space with only a couple of tables to sit at, there’s plenty of exposed brick work behind the shelves of colourful UK and US based cereal boxes lining the walls and memorabilla dotted around the room, including a framed Tony the Tiger shirt and the classic musical dancing flower pots. I picked up my bowl of Choco-potomus, chocolate milk and decided to by-pass the extra sugar and syrup station, we headed down the narrow stairs, past a framed set of trolls into the basement.

Basement of childhood memories

The basement is a colourful space with flashes of childhood memories showcased on the walls including a particularly retro Tony the Tiger skateboard and a television playing an episode of He-Man. If the aim of the Cereal Killer Cafe was to transport people back to their childhood with cereal and classic memorabilia then it’s doing a pretty good job and is definitely the direction it should go in.

“transport people back to their childhood”

The basement feels like a shrine to a by-gone era, a more primitive time where you had to send off coupons for your free gift or dig deep into your cereal packet to find that free Tony the Tiger bike reflector. Tucked away beyond shelves of classic empty milk bottles (including a Kellogg’s Cornflakes bottle) is a cosy little table under an arch and is probably the table you’d want to secure given the chance. We sat next to a wall with four retro T.V. sets, facing a window that had been decorated with a row of cute miniature potted flowers.

Each table has its own lamp made from cereal bowls, we were lucky enough to have the “Star Wars Empire Strikes Back” bowl, other tables featured 80’s/90’s throw backs “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” and “E.T.”. They were nice little touches and it was obvious that there had been a lot of thought put into the decor at the Cereal Killer Cafe and at times it felt like I was browsing a mini museum of 80’s/90’s paraphernalia.

The Choco-potomus

The Cearal Killer Cafe’s menu was a little overwhelming and I hadn’t realised that they had a selection of cereal “cocktails” until I’d reached the counter. Thankfully the friendly staff pointed me in the right direction with a bowl of Choco-potomus (£3.90 Coco Pops, Krave,Kinder Happy Hippo and chocolate milk), the other bowl that caught my eye was “Unicorn Poop” (£4.80, Ricicles, party rings, fluff, marshmallows, hundreds and thousands), named via a competition on their Facebook page (I believe).

“the other bowl that caught my eye was “Unicorn Poop””

The main focal point of my bowl of Choco-potomus was the Kinder Happy Hippo that languished in the chocolate milk with its nostrils just above the water level. Needless to say, he didn’t survive too long before being attacked by my spoon. I already love Kinder chocolate so adding a Kinder Hippo to a bowl of Coco Pops is only ever going to be an enhancement for me.

“the Kinder Happy Hippo that languished in the chocolate milk with its nostrils just above the water level”

After first hearing about the Cereal Killer Cafe I wasn’t quite sold and was quick to dismiss it as an silly gimmicky attention seeking idea with little real substance, but since visiting I’ve come around to the concept a bit. Maybe it’s the way it triggers childhood memories of cartoons, toys, TV programmes along with retro breakfast cereals that makes it much more appealing as an experience than simply a place you’d go to munch on cereals.

The Cereal Killers Cafe has only been open for around a month and it feels like there’s scope for the owners to experiment, try new things and to have fun with the concept. If they can bring joy to customers with their retro cereal experience then they may have a business that outlasts even the most skeptical of views.

Was my Choco-potomus worth £3.90? Probably not, but the experience certainly was.

What do you think about the Cereal Killer Cafe? Have you been? Would you go?

Let me know in the comments.